A long time

It has been a long time since I have been on here.  I have been finding it hard to get myself motivated.  I tend to shut myself down and go silent for a long time when I become overwhelmed with things in my life.

The last 6-8 months I have been coping with relationship issues, child issues, ex husband issues.  I have put myself last again and have been getting sick more than I should.

Have  you ever just wanted to get in your car and drive off? I have thought about it, just leaving all the chaos behind and starting over.  Then I realize that is selfish of me.  So I am trying to find some kind of balance again.  I thought I was getting to that place,  the place of peace and balance, then all the stuff started.

Trying to stay positive every day and look at the good things is a challenge some days, but that is what I have at the moment.

mental health

Writers block

I have had a hard time getting my thoughts out lately.  I have been pretty clogged up with a lot of energy, mine, along with other people’s.   The last few weeks I have been around some toxic people and I am tired.  

I have had a rough time the last few weeks.  It’s been hard, Daddy and I have been going through a rough patch.  He has been trying to get me to do more things I love, but I can’t.  I haven’t been able to write, paint or keep up with my yoga and meditation.  

Finally on Monday,  I had a breakdown in a sense.  I started getting very emotional and was not very nice to him.  I had not had a break, it’s been one thing or another.  I’ve been going and going.  He and I fought and almost broke up.  We had been apart for 4 days, he was home with her and hadn’t planned on coming to see me till Wednesday.   It was a hard week, to say the least. 

It’s now Saturday and I am starting to feel better.  He’s home again with her till Monday.  I have had the day to myself, I’ll have tomorrow too.  I think I may be able to do some painting.  Fingers crossed! I miss painting.